Matt Smethurst’s Top 50 Tim Keller Quotes

by Jed CoppengerBible, Quotes, Timothy KellerPosted on No Comments

Yesterday, Tim Keller went to be with the Lord. It’s hard to overstate the impact Keller has had on Christians over the past couple of decades. He’s certainly been used by God in my life.

Matt Smethurst posted 50 of his favorite Keller quotes. I was encouraged by them. Perhaps God will use them to encourage you as well.

“All death can now do to Christians is to make their lives infinitely better.”

“The central basis of Christian assurance is not how much our hearts are set on God, but how unshakably his heart is set on us.”

“If Jesus rose from the dead, then you have to accept all that he said. If he didn’t, then why worry about any of what he said? The issue on which everything hangs is not whether you like his teaching, but whether he rose from the dead.”

“Describe the God you’ve rejected. Describe the God you don’t believe in. Maybe I don’t believe that God either.”

“Contemporary people tend to examine the Bible, looking for things they can’t accept; but Christians should reverse that, allowing the Bible to examine us, looking for things God can’t accept.”

“Satan doesn’t control us with fang marks on the flesh but with lies in the heart. . . . Our best defense in the fight against [his] lies is not the production of incantations but the rehearsal of truth.”

“The gospel is that I am so sinful that Jesus had to die for me, yet so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. I can’t feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone.”

“The doctrine of sin means believers are never as good as our true worldview should make us. And the doctrine of common grace means unbelievers are never as flawed as their false worldview should make them.”

“Only if your god can outrage and challenge you will you know that you worship the real God and not a figment of your imagination. . . . If your god never disagrees with you, you might just be worshiping an idealized version of yourself.”

“The glory of God is available to you in the church in a way it’s not available to you anywhere else. . . . There is no more important means of discipleship than deep involvement in the life of the church.”

“You don’t fall into love. You commit to it. Love says, ‘I will be there no matter what.’”

“To say ‘I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself’ means you’ve failed an idol whose approval is more important than God’s.”

“If you make work your identity and you succeed, it’ll go to your head. If you fail, it’ll go to your heart.”

“To be loved but not known is superficial. To be known but not loved is our nightmare. Only Jesus knows us to the bottom and loves us to the sky.”

“The only person who dares wake up a king at 3:00 a.m. for a glass of water is a child. We have that kind of access.”

“Tolerance isn’t about not having beliefs. It’s about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you.”

“Traditional religion says, ‘I give God a good moral record, so he has to bless me.’ The gospel says, ‘God gives me a good moral record through Christ, so I want to bless him.’ . . . Religion says, ‘If I obey, then God will love and accept me.’ The gospel says, ‘God loves and accepts me, therefore I want to obey.’”

“The gospel says you are simultaneously more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, yet more loved and accepted than you ever dared hope.”

“If you’re falling off a cliff, strong faith in a weak branch is fatally inferior to weak faith in a strong branch. Salvation is not finally based on the strength of your faith, but on the object of your faith.”

“The temptation for those who suffer is to assume that because we can’t think of any good purposes God may have for our suffering, there can’t be any.”

“There are the good things of this world, the hard things of this world, and the best things of this world—God’s love, glory, holiness, beauty. The Bible’s teaching is that the road to the best things is not through the good things but usually through the hard things. . . . There is no message more contrary to the way the world understands life or more subversive to its values.”

“The Christian sex ethic was understood by the apostles to be a nonnegotiable part of orthodoxy, one of the core beliefs of Christianity. What Christians taught and practiced about sexuality was as much a necessary implication of the gospel and the resurrection as were care for the poor and the equality of the races. This makes it impossible to argue, as many try to do, that what the Bible says about caring for the poor is right but what it says about sex is outmoded and should be discarded.”

“Sex apart from marriage becomes a product we consume if we find someone attractive enough in quality and low enough in price. If the quality goes down or the cost goes up, we can walk away, because there is no covenant. But if sex comes only with the radical self-giving and whole-life commitment of marriage, that takes sex off the market, as it were, and makes it priceless.”

“When Jesus Christ was in the garden of Gethsemane and the ultimate darkness was coming down on him and he knew it was coming, he didn’t abandon you; he died for you. If Jesus Christ didn’t abandon you in his darkness, the ultimate darkness, why would he abandon you now, in yours?”

“Only a grasp of what Jesus did on the cross—the doctrine of substitutionary atonement—can prevent spiritual distortions. . . . Only this doctrine keeps us from thinking God is mainly holy with some love or mainly loving with some holiness—but instead [he] is both holy and loving equally, interdependently. Only this view of God makes the spoiled or the neglected into the healthy and the loved.”

“The secular framework . . . has nothing to give the wounded conscience to heal it. It has nothing to say to the self who feels it is unworthy of love and forgiveness. Anyone who has seen the depths of their sin and what they are capable of will never be mollified by the bromide of ‘Be nice to yourself—you deserve it.’”

“True repentance begins where whitewashing (‘Nothing really happened’) and blame-shifting (‘It wasn’t really my fault’) and self-pity (‘I’m sorry because of what it has cost me’) and self-flagellation (‘I will feel so terrible no one will be able to criticize me’) end.”

“Forgiveness is granted (often a good while) before it is felt—not felt before it is granted. It is a promise to not exact the price of sin from the person who hurt you. . . . It is likely you have always thought, ‘Well, I have to feel it before I grant it. I have to start feeling less angry before I start to not hold them liable.’ If you wait to feel it before you grant it, you’ll never grant it; you’ll be in an anger prison.”

“It is hard to stay angry at someone if you are praying for them. It is also hard to stay angry unless you feel superior, and it is hard to feel superior if you are praying for them, since in prayer you approach God as a forgiven sinner.”

“Prayer is the only entryway into genuine self-knowledge. It is also the main way we experience deep change—the reordering of our loves. Prayer is how God gives us so many of the unimaginable things he has for us. Indeed, prayer makes it safe for God to give us many of the things we most desire. It is the way we know God, the way we finally treat God as God. Prayer is simply the key to everything we need to do and be in life.”

“God will either give us what we ask or give us what we would have asked if we knew everything he knows.”

“We know God will answer us when we call because one terrible day he did not answer Jesus when he called. . . . Jesus’ prayers were given the rejection that we sinners merit so that our prayers could have the reception that he merits.”

“Mercy isn’t just the job of the Christian. Mercy is the mark of the Christian.”

“A good sermon is not like a club that beats upon the will but like a sword that cuts to the heart.”

“Expository preaching should provide the main diet of preaching for a Christian community. . . . [It] is the best method for displaying and conveying your conviction that the whole Bible is true. This approach testifies that you believe every part of the Bible to be God’s Word, not just particular themes and not just the parts you feel comfortable agreeing with.”

“Preaching is not only explaining the text but also using it to engage the heart. I often see preachers giving so much time to the first task that they put little thought and ingenuity into the second.”

“Every time you expound a Bible text, you are not finished unless you demonstrate how it shows us that we cannot save ourselves and that only Jesus can.”

“Christian communicators must show that we remember (or at least understand) very well what it is like not to believe.”

“The humanistic moral values of secularism are not the deliverances of scientific reasoning, but have come down to us from older times . . . they have a theological history. And modern people hold them by faith alone.”

“Through faith in the cross we get a new foundation for an identity that both humbles us out of our egoism yet is so infallibly secure in love that we are enabled to embrace rather than exclude those who are different.”

“[These are] Christianity’s unsurpassed offers—a meaning that suffering cannot remove, a satisfaction not based on circumstances, a freedom that does not hurt but rather enhances love, an identity that does not crush you or exclude others, a moral compass that does not turn you into an oppressor, and a hope that can face anything, even death.”

“If the suffering Jesus endured did not make him give up on us, nothing will.”

“Jesus is one of the very few persons in history who founded a great world religion or who, like Plato or Aristotle, has set the course of human thought and life for centuries. Jesus is in that tiny, select group. On the other hand, there have been a number of persons over the years who have implicitly or explicitly claimed to be divine beings from other worlds. Many of them were demagogues; many more were leaders of small, self-contained sects of true believers. What is unique about Jesus is that he is the only member of the first set of persons who is also a member of the second.”

“Everything in the Hebrew worldview militated against the idea that a human being could be God. Jews would not even pronounce the name ‘Yahweh’ nor spell it. And yet Jesus Christ—by his life, by his claims, and by his resurrection—convinced his closest Jewish followers that he was not just a prophet telling them how to find God, but God himself come to find us.”

“When you come to Christ, you must drop your conditions. You have to give up the right to say, ‘I will obey you if . . . I will do this if . . .’ As soon as you say, ‘I will obey you if,’ that is not obedience at all. You are saying: ‘You are my adviser, not my Lord. I will be happy to take your recommendations. And I might even do some of them.’ No. If you want Jesus with you, you have to give up the right to self-determination. Self-denial is an act of rebellion against our late-modern culture of self-assertion. But that is what we are called to. Nothing less.”

“When you say, ‘Doctrine doesn’t matter; what matters is that you live a good life,’ that is a doctrine. It is called the doctrine of salvation by your works rather than by grace.”

“It’s in death that God says, ‘If I’m not your security, then you’ve got no security, because I’m the only thing that can’t be taken away from you. I will hold you in my everlasting arms. Every other set of arms will fail you, but I will never fail you.’ Smelling salts are very disagreeable, but they are also very effective. But as you’re waking from your illusions, be at peace, because here’s what Jesus Christ offers to us if by faith we have him as our Savior.”

“If you want to understand your own behavior, you must understand that all sin against God is grounded in a refusal to believe that God is more dedicated to our good, and more aware of what that is, than we are. We distrust God because we assume he is not truly for us, that if we give him complete control we will be miserable. Adam and Eve did not say, ‘Let’s be evil. Let’s ruin our own lives and everyone else’s too!’ Rather they thought, ‘We just want to be happy. But his commands don’t look like they’ll give us the things we need to thrive. We’ll have to take things into our own hands—we can’t trust him.’”

“The only storm that can really destroy—the storm of divine justice and judgment on sin and evil—will never come upon you. Jesus bowed his head into that ultimate storm, willingly, for you. He died, receiving the punishment for sin we deserve, so we can be pardoned when we trust in him. When you see him doing that for you, it certainly does not answer all the questions you have about your suffering. But it proves that, despite it all, he still loves you. Because he was thrown into that storm for you, you can be sure that there’s love at the heart of this storm for you.”

“If you were a hundred times worse than you are, your sins would be no match for his mercy.”

Redemption City Church Releases New Song: “By the Blood”

by Jed CoppengerBible, Christian living, Church, Ministry, Practical Ministry, songs, worshipPosted on No Comments

Major wars are fought on multiple fronts. The same is true with the spiritual war that every Christian finds themselves in. One of the major fronts of our spiritual war involves music.

That’s why the Apostle Paul commanded the Colossians to “let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Col 3:16). Psalm 33 commands its readers to “sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.” The book of Revelation shows us the singing of gospel-centered songs throughout eternity. These are a few of the verses that drive our efforts to write new gospel-centered songs for the cause of Christ.

We have had a blast gathering songwriters together this past year to write songs that Christ might use to encourage and strengthen our church. This song, “By the Blood,” has been such an encouragement to our church, Redemption City Church, this past year, we thought we’d record it for those beyond our church gathering. I love the chorus:

“Your grace so sweet, washes over me, I’ve been made clean, by the blood of Jesus. Love so free, the price was paid for me, I’ve been made clean, by the blood of Jesus.”

I hope song encourages you like it has encouraged me. You can also find it wherever you listen to music.

4 Types of Leadership Teams Every Ministry Leadership Team Should Understand: Insights from Larry Osborne’s “Sticky Teams”

by Jed CoppengerBible, Christian living, Church, Culture, Practical MinistryPosted on No Comments

How does the growth of a church and its leadership team impact how its leadership team functions and what leaders should expect? Leaders who have been a part of a staff, whether paid or unpaid, that’s grown numerically, understand that growth changes certain aspects of the leadership team.

But how?

Well, Larry Osborne, in his book Sticky Teams, argues that there is a lot we can learn about understanding the changes that happen when growth occurs, by thinking about the changes an athlete has to make when he or she switches from playing one sport to another (63).

He writes, “Growth produces predictable changes in the way in the way leaders and leadership teams relate and carry out their functions, changes that are remarkably parallel to the changes an athlete must go through to transition from running track to playing golf, basketball, or football” (64).

How so?

The Track Star Phase – “Like the high jumper or sprinter, the solo pastor may work out with others, but he performs alone, often without fanfare or support and usually before a small crowd peppered with close family and friends” (64). One positive of this role is that there is incredible freedom. But, sadly, it can be overwhelming and lonely.

Golfing Buddies Phase – “The dynamic of a small group of leaders are very similar to those found among a small group of golfing buddies. Golf is a highly relational game. So are small ministry teams” (64).

The Basketball Team Phase – “When a ministry team grows larger, the relationships and functions begin to resemble those on a basketball team far more than anything you’d find on a golf course. Basketball is primarily a team sport, not a friendship sport. It requires working together, trusting one another, and sharing the ball. But unlike golfing buddies, members of a basketball team don’t expect that everyone will be best friends” (65). Roles are more clarified, but people still have to play multiple roles.

The Football Team Phase – “When a leadership team increases to fifteen or twenty-five members, and in some cases fifty, one hundred, or more, the game changes radically. It starts to feel and function more like a football team. . . . Football is a game of highly specialized roles. . . . Few players are interchangeable. . . . Teamwork is more important than on-on-one skill” (66). He continues, “At this stage, it’s no longer possible for everyone to know or have input on what everyone else is doing” (66). The impact of this team can be bigger, but camaraderie is harder.

How do you know where you are in this? Besides the number of people on your team, Osborne writes, that the two other indicators that the “game is changing” is relational overload and increased communication (67).

Regardless of your view of church leadership, I thought these insights into the ways that more people change the dynamic on a team were incredibly helpful. I hope they help you as well.

Specific Answers to Prayer: An Amazing Story of God Hearing a Prayer for a Refrigerator for a Family in Need

by Jed Coppenger21 Days to Childlike Prayer, Bible, Christian living, Church, Ministry, Practical Ministry, PrayerPosted on No Comments

The married couple was in a long season of one crisis after another. The wife had undiagnosed Lyme Disease while pregnant and was extremely sick. After she gave birth, she continued to have a lot of health issues. The child was born with life-altering health issues. Since both the husband and the wife were teachers, they struggled financially to pay the doctor bills. It was a challenging time. Shortly after the school year started this year, their stove and fridge broke. It was a challenging time.

Although they were able to replace their stove, they weren’t able to replace their fridge. They went round and round with the company over the warranty, but were unsuccessful.

So an extended family member that was reading 21 Days to Childlike Prayer started praying, along with the other prayers she had been praying for the wife and the child, that God would provide them with a new fridge. Week after week, there was no fridge. Then, the extended family member put a date on the fridge prayer request.

After a couple of weeks, the extended family member went to Friday morning women’s bible study. She decided to ask her group to pray that God would provide a fridge for the couple in need (they were already praying for the health situation).

After the group ended, a mom pulled the extended family member aside and told her to meet her at her car. As they made their way to the car, the lady began to tell her that she just received a bunch of inheritance money and felt like the Lord wanted her to bring it to the Friday morning group. When the prayer for a fridge was talked about, the lady said she knew that was why she was supposed to bring the money.

So there, in the parking lot, the lady gave a couple thousand dollars for a fridge. The extended family member began crying tears of gratitude and awe. She said that she “wanted to shout from the rooftops, how good our God is!!!!” The fridge was bought and delivered right at the date that the extended family member had been praying for.

I hope this story stirs in you the childlike faith that it takes to ask God for things like fridges by specific dates. Does he always give us what we ask for? Of course not. But he always does what’s best for us. Let’s keep going to God in specific, childlike prayer. You never know the difference your prayers might make in the life of someone else.

5 Steps To Take When You Experience Loss: Insights from Jerry Sittser’s “A Grace Disguised”

by Jed CoppengerBook Summary, Christian living, Church, Practical Ministry, QuotesPosted on No Comments

Jerry Sittser and his family were headed back home from an event when a drunk driver drove head-on into their minivan. Although he and three of his kids survived, tragically, his wife, mother, and one of his daughters all died at the scene of the accident.

While most people don’t, thankfully, have to go through what he went through, every single one of us experience loss. Sittser writes, “Sooner or later all people suffer loss, in little doses or big ones, suddenly or over time, privately or in public settings. Loss is as much a part of normal life as birth, for as surely as we are born into this world we suffer loss before we leave it” (17). He continues, “”All people suffer loss. Being alive means suffering loss. Sometimes the loss is natural, predictable, and even reversible. . . . But there is a different kind of loss that inevitably occurs in all of our lives, though less frequently and certainly less predictably. This kind of loss has more devastating results, and it is irreversible. Such loss includes terminal illness, disability, divorce, rape, emotional abuse, physical and sexual abuse, chronic unemployment, crushing disappointment, mental illness, and ultimately death. If normal, natural, reversible loss is like a broken limb, then catastrophic loss is like an amputation. The results are permanent, the impact incalculable, the consequences cumulative. Each new day forces one to face some new and devastating dimension of the loss. It creates a whole new context for one’s life” (31-32).

We all experience loss, but, unfortunately, we don’t all understand how to GROW through loss. Instead of growing through our losses, many, sadly, lose their way, their heart, and their hope. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Sittser writes, “It is not, therefore, the experience of loss that becomes the defining moment of our lives, for that is as inevitable as death, which is the last loss awaiting us all. It is how we respond to loss that matters. That response will largely determine the quality, the direction, and the impact of our lives” (17). He continues, “There is little we can do to protect ourselves from these losses. . . . There is much we can do, however, to determine how to respond to them. We do not always have the freedom to choose the roles we must play in life, but we can choose how we are going to play the roles we have been given. Choice is therefore key. We can run from the darkness, or we can enter into the darkness and face the pain of loss. We can indulge ourselves in self-pity, or we can empathize with others and embrace their pain as our own. We can run away from sorrow and drown it in addictions, or we can learn to live with sorrow. . . .” (46).

Sittser’s book is a healing balm to anyone hurting. I first picked it up when I lost one of my best friends who gave his life saving some people from a burning car and oncoming traffic. Since then, I’ve returned to a few parts of this book more than once, as I’ve experienced more loss over the years.

But I know many people might not have or make the time to read this book. So I thought I’d offer a few lessons I’ve taken away from the book that I apply when I experience loss.

  1. Watch Out for Attempts to Deal With the Pain of Loss in a Way That Causes More Pain

As many besides Sittser have noted, when we experience loss, we are prone to do one of the following things:

Denial – On denial, Sittser writes, “Denial puts off what should be faced. People in denial refuse to see loss for what it is, something terrible that cannot be reversed. They dodge pain rather than confront it. But their unwillingness to face pain comes at a price. Ultimately, it diminishes the capacity of their souls to grow bigger in response to pain” (56). Denial happens when we give the “it’s not that big of a deal” statement, when it actually is. We can deny dealing with the pain by working harder than before. Denial says “it’s fine” when it really isn’t.

Bargaining – When we experience pain, sometimes we try to fight it by bargaining. On his experience, he wrote, “I thought about replacement relationships that could help me make the transition quickly and conveniently, but then I faced disappointment when two relationships fizzled during the first year as quickly as they had begun. I considered finding a new life for myself by moving and starting a different job so that I could escape the hellish life I was forced to live after the accident” (57). Some might try to bargain with God by doing the classic, “Lord if you give me this relationship, then…” or “If you do _____, then I’ll…” Sittser was prone to bargain, maybe you will too in a tough time.

Indulging – Sittser writes, “I tried to drown the pain by indulging my appetites. . . . There was one period, about two months long, in which I . . . watched television almost every night from 10:00 pm to 2:00 am. . . . I was tempted to indulge other appetites as well” (57). He continues, “Many people form addictions after they experience loss. Loss disrupts and destroys the orderliness and familiarity of their world. They feel such desperation and disorientation in the face of this obliteration of order that they go berserk on binges. They saturate their senses with anything that will satisfy them in the moment because they cannot bear to think about the long-term consequences of loss. So they watch television every moment they can, work sixty hours a week, drink too much alcohol, go on a sexual rampage, eat constantly, or spend their money carelessly. In so doing, they hold suffering at a distance” (58). I tend to go to sweets like ice cream in tough times. Nothing wrong with ice cream or many of these things, but none of them can help bring the healing you’re looking for.

Venting – Sittser also points out that when we experience loss, we might deal with it by getting angry and venting. On his experience, he writes, “I resisted the pain, finally, by venting anger. I thought that revenge would somehow help me mitigate my suffering. I wanted someone to pay the price for the loss” (58). When someone does something wrong to you or someone you love, you will probably feel this acutely at times. Beware of it. He writes, “Anger, like denial, or bargaining or binges, is simply another way of deflecting the pain, holding it off, fighting back at it. We refuse to let the pain in and experience it for the hell it is” (59).

These four responses to loss are important to be aware of and avoid. He writes, “These responses can deceive us, appearing to provide a way of escape from the problem rather than the points of entry into the problem. We must therefore pay attention to them but not fool ourselves into thinking that they are merely stages on our way out of the predicament” (59).

If we don’t respond in these ways, how should we respond? Very simply, I’ve found, after reading his book and Scripture, that we should:

2. Acknowledge the Pain – Whether it is just an acknowledgment to yourself, to God, or to others, acknowledge the pain. When one of my kids didn’t get in the game and I said I was “sorry because I know it stinks,” on the way home, he said, “It’s no big deal.” I corrected him, gently saying, “let’s not pretend like it doesn’t stink. I know you wanted to get in, that you wondered why you weren’t getting any time, etc.” Anybody that has played, knows what it is like not to get in, and really think you should. I tried to help him acknowledge the pain he felt. Anybody that wants to grow through their grieving and loss has to do the same.

3. Trust God’s Ability to Integrate Your Difficulty into Your Story for Your Good – Usually when you experience loss, you won’t know most of the reasons why God allowed it to happen. Often times, it won’t make sense from your perspective. The only way to grow through the pain and loss is to trust God enough to believe he can integrate the pain into your story for your good, making you “more” not “less.” If you don’t trust God’s good, but mysterious purposes, then you won’t be able to move forward more like Jesus than you were before the disaster.

4. Focus On What God Wants You To Do and Ask Him To Help You Do It – If you truly trust God with your pain, it frees you up to focus on what he wants you to do. Usually you won’t “feel like it.” That’s why you ask him to help you do what he’s called you to do. The Apostle Paul was “sorrowful, yet rejoicing.” He ministered with a broken heart. Your loss, by God’s good design and with his help, will actually make you better at doing what he’s called you to do, when you respond by faith. Trust him and follow him in the midst of your loss. For my son, that meant he needed to be a great teammate from the bench. Cheer his teammates on. Encourage them. Even as he prayed that God would give him a chance to play.

5. Remember This Process and Expect to Have to Work Through it Unexpectedly and Consistently – Sittser argues that we never “move on” from loss, in the sense that we can return to how things were before. But we can be “enlarged by loss, even as we continue to experience it” (18). In order for this to happen, we need to understand that we will need to return to these steps consistently. We’ll hear a song that reminds us of a lost loved one, smell something that takes us to a painful place, or something else that reminds us of some old pain that is still able to have a fresh impact. That’s why it is important to remember these steps. They can help you, with God’s help, walk out of the darkness that so easily overcomes us in this broken world.

Praying Against the Respect for Marriage Act Because I’m for the LGBTQ+ Community

by Jed CoppengerBible, Christian living, Church, Culture, justice, Ministry, Politics, Practical Ministry, PrayerPosted on No Comments

It’s not loving to create laws that promote falsehoods, confusion, discrimination, and harm, while reducing the institutions that help people flourish the most. That’s why, out of love for all people, including the LGBTQ+ community, I’m praying against the Respect for Marriage Act.

I know this isn’t a popular position in our culture or, most likely, a winning position in the Senate today. But, as a Christian pastor, I think it’s important to voice what Scripture clearly teaches to the church and the world around us, if for nothing else, to help people that think we are hateful or wrong, understand better why we believe what we believe. If you know many Christian pastors, you know that we don’t usually speak passionately about legislation related to minimum wage, the debt ceiling, and many other important things. And the reason for this lack of expressed opinion is that there isn’t as much biblical clarity on these issues. They are important, but not as clear as the issue of marriage.

So, if you will, consider briefly this unpopular opinion. To begin with, RFMA promotes falsehoods and confusion because it asserts, following the Obergefell decision, that marriage is something other than a union between a man and a woman—that it can be a “same sex marriage.” Before asking whether or not this definition of marriage has any negative consequences, it should be noted that this definition is out of step with the way marriage has been defined biblically, historically by every culture regardless of beliefs, legally, and philosophically. While “same sex marriage” seems to be a dominant notion today, it is one of the least held views in all of human history.

But, many argue, why does it matter whom people choose to love? Well, first of all, the question of “whom you can love” is different from the question, “What is marriage and who can be married?” You can love all kinds of people in a way that doesn’t redefine marriage. Also, in regards to romantic love, our culture, like other cultures, has laws telling us whom we can and can’t “love” in a romantic way. For instance, even though some in our culture are starting to push back on this idea, most still believe it is wrong for a grown man to have a romantic relationship with a young girl.

But, to put the question more accurately, why should people, whether Christians or not, be concerned about the redefinition of marriage? Because if you redefine marriage like this, then you are promoting a concept that isn’t sound in any historic or philosophical sense. And that’s not a good thing. Words matter. Ideas matter. Institutions like this matter.

Furthermore, you strip a vital social institution of its integrity, which causes greater confusion about what will really lead to human flourishing. It misdirects people away from unions grounded in the creation order that produce human flourishing and toward different unions that do not have the same grounding or track record. It’s confusing.

If it’s true that promoting “same sex marriage” promotes falsehoods and confusion, then it shouldn’t be surprising that there are other negative consequences—like increased discrimination. If RFMA passes, without a doubt, people and institutions that hold the historic position on marriage will be abused for their convictions. If you don’t believe this, you haven’t been paying attention. Over the past decade, more and more people have been defamed, sued, otherwise attacked for their traditional views on marriage. These cake makers, video makers, t-shirt makers, and many more, serve all people, including the LGBTQ+ community, but they simply don’t serve all events—like same sex weddings. This is an important distinction. They serve all people, they just don’t do all events. Yet, tragically, these folks have spent countless hours and money, just trying to live their lives.

Ah, but what about the men and women who need services? There are, of course, plenty of businesses that are happy to serve them. In fact, most businesses aren’t just happy to serve them; they declare their willingness with signs on their doors and slogans on their websites. The issue for many isn’t about creating access to the same kinds of things everyone else has access to, it’s about crushing those who disagree—those who hold to a historic view of marriage. The passing of the RFMA will only put more people and institutions under attack.

Unfortunately, all of this will lead to more harm everywhere. Why? I’ll just mention two of the ways. First, apart from the harm of creating a culture that is controlled by these falsehoods and confusion, with increasing discrimination, it will reduce the help that the most vulnerable in our society get from the people and institutions that hold to the historic view of marriage. It’s very simple. The people who do the most work with the homeless, the hungry, the poor, etc., in our country are the people that mostly hold to the historic view of marriage. If RFMA passes, these people will be under attack more and more. And when you are under attack, whether it’s through a lawsuit or whatever, you have to take the time, money, and energy you were going to use to help struggling people and redirect it to push back on the attack. And while the LGBTQ+ community is effective at many things, with all their power, they have yet to use it to create anything that comes close to what Christians have created to care for the most vulnerable of society. Without question, the RFMA will make life worse for people who need help most.

Secondly, very simply, RFMA will make life worse for children. It’s a sociological fact that children do best when they grow up in a home with a dad and a mom. RFMA will lead to more kids growing up in homes where there isn’t a dad and a mom. While this an unpopular opinion, for the sake of wanting what’s best for kids, it should be said. Think about it. Even if we didn’t use the Bible, the fact that “same sex marriages” don’t produce kids, should be evidence that these “marriages” aren’t the ideal setting for kids. I know, I know, there are many Christians who think these kinds of things shouldn’t be said because they don’t want their friends identifying as LGBTQ+ to be offended. But we have to remember that it’s never loving to lie about these things. Of course, we should treat these folks with dignity and respect. But we must be clear that part of treating them with dignity is speaking the truth in love.

I’m praying that RFMA doesn’t pass, that the LGBTQ+ will take a new, life-giving path toward the truth of their Maker and experience his blood-bought grace—and that all of us, wherever we fall on these issues, can speak the truth in love. We might not disagree less in the days ahead, but perhaps we can disagree better.

Douglas McKelvey on What to Pray When a Dream Dies

by Jed CoppengerBible, Book Summary, Christian living, Church, Ministry, Practical Ministry, Prayer, QuotesPosted on No Comments

Douglas McKelvey’s Every Moment Holy vol. 1 provides liturgies, or prayers, for all kinds of different situations. I thought I’d share the one he wrote for “The Death of a Dream.” In it, he skillfully and beautifully puts into words what so many feel when this happens and how they should process it in the presence of a good God. This prayer could be something you pray for almost any disappointment. I hope it encourages you like it encouraged me.

O Christ, in whom the final fulfillment of all hope is held and secure,

I bring to you now the weathered

fragments of my former dreams,

the rent patches of hopes worn thin,

the shards of some shattered image of

life as I once thought it would be.

What I so wanted

has not come to pass,

I invested my hopes in desires

that returned only sorrow

and frustration. Those dreams,

like glimmering faerie feasts,

could not sustain me,

and in my head I know that you

are sovereign even over this–

over my tears, my confusion,

and my disappointment.

But I still feel,

in this moment,

as if I have been abandoned,

as if you do not care that these hopes

have collapsed to rubble.

And yet I know this is not so.

You are the sovereign of my sorrow.

You apprehended a wider sweep with wiser eyes

than mine. My history hears the fingerprints of grace.

You were always faithful, though I could not always trace quick evidence of your presence in my pain, yet did you remain at work,

lurking in the wings, sifting all my

splinterings for bright embers that might

be breathed into more eternal dreams.

I have seen so oft in retrospect, how

you had not neglected me, but had, with a

master’s care, flared my desire like silver in

a crucible to burn away some lesser longing,

and bring about your better vision.

So let me remain tender now, to how

you would teach me. My disappointments

reveal so much about my own agenda

for my life, and the ways I quietly demand

that it should play out: free of conflict,

free of pain, free of want.

My dreams are all so small.

Your bigger purpose has always been

for my greatest good, that I would

day-to-day be fashioned into a more fit vessel

for the indwelling of your Spirit,

and molded into a more compassionate

emissary of your coming Kingdom.

And you, in love, will use all means to shape

my heart into those perfect forms.

So let this disappointment do its work.

My truest hopes have never failed,

they have merely been buried

beneath the shoveled muck of disillusion,

or encased in a carapace of self-serving

desire. It is only false hopes that are brittle,

shattering like shells of thin glass, to reveal the

diamond hardness of the unshakeable eternal

hopes within. So shake and shatter

all that hinder my growth, O God.

Unmask all false hopes,

that my one true hope might shine out

unclouded and undimmed.

So let me be tutored by this new

disappointment.

Let me listen to its holy whisper,

that I may release at last these lesser dreams.

That I might embrace the better dreams you

dream for me, and for your people,

and for your kingdom, and for your creation.

Let me join myself to these, investing all hope

in the one hope that will never come undone

or betray those who place their trust in it.

Teach me to hope, O Lord,

always and only in you.

You are the King of my collapse.

You answer not what I demand,

but what I do not even know what to ask.

Now take this dream, this husk,

this chaff of my desire, and give it back

reformed and remade according to

your better vision,

or do not give it back at all.

Here in the ruins of my wrecked

expectation, let me make this confession:

Not my dreams, O Lord,

not my dreams,

but yours, be done.

Amen.

My Conversation about “21 Days to Childlike Prayer” on the “100+ Significant Moments in Christian History” Podcast

by Jed Coppenger21 Days to Childlike Prayer, Bible, Book Review, Book Summary, Christian living, Church, fast, fasting, Ministry, PrayerPosted on No Comments

Last August, I had the privilege of sitting down with Mike Woodson, the pastor of Christ Church, to talk about 21 Days to Childlike Prayer for his fantastic “100+ Significant Moments in Christian History” podcast.

I’ve enjoyed Pastor Mike’s podcast for quite some time. He does an unusually excellent job of summarizing history in substantive, succinct, and engaging ways. He’s brilliant and a gifted interviewer. It was an honor to get to talk with him about one of my favorite subjects, prayer, while I was in Chicago to preach the first sermon in their “21 Days to Childlike Prayer” sermon series. You can give the conversation a listen here.

6 Questions Every Leadership Team Should Be Able to Answer: Insights from Patrick Lencioni

by Jed CoppengerBook Summary, Christian living, Church, Ministry, Practical MinistryPosted on No Comments

One of the major tasks of any leader is creating clarity. Patrick Lencioni, in his classic The Advantage, argues that in order for leaders to create clarity, leaders need need to make sure everyone they are leading is clear on six questions. These questions, he argues, aren’t unusually insightful. Rather, the insight is that “none of them can be addressed in isolation; they must be answered together.” He continues, “Failing to achieve alignment around any one of them can prevent an organization from attaining the level of clarity necessary to become healthy.”

What are the six questions?

  1. Why do we exist?
  2. How do we behave?
  3. What do we do?
  4. How will we succeed?
  5. What is most important, right now?
  6. Who must do what?

Answering these questions, he asserts, “may well be the most important step of all in achieving the advantage of organizational health.” Whether you lead in the local church or outside of the local church, I think these questions are absolutely worth wrestling with.