“…One of the best things we can do for our kids is to find a way to stop being so frantic and frazzled. In the ‘Ask the Children’ survey, researcher Ellen Galinsky interviewed more than a thousand children in grades three through twelve and asked parents to guess how kids would respond. One key question asked the kids what one thing they would change about the way their parents’ work was affecting them. The results were striking. The kids rarely wished for more time with their parents, but, much to the parents’ surprise, they wished their parents were less tired and less stressed.
Similarly, Galinsky asked kids to grade their parents in a dozen areas. Overall, parents did pretty well, with both moms and dads right around a B. Most parents got an A when it came to making their children feel important and being able to attend important events in their lives. The biggest weakness, according to the kids, was anger management. More than 40 percent of kids gave their moms and dads a C, D, or F on controlling their temper. It was the worst grade on the children’s parental report card. Our children, Caplan argues, are suffering from ‘secondhand stress.’ By trying to do so much for them, we are actually making our kids less happy. It would be better for us and for our kids if we planned fewer outings, got involved in fewer activities, took more breaks from the kids, did whatever we could to get more help around the house, and made parental sanity a higher priority.
My point in unpacking Caplan’s book is not to make us all biological determinists. Our genes will never fully explain the variations in human behavior. As Christians, we know that God creates us in his image, as responsible moral agents. DNA does not determine our eternal destiny. But then again, neither does parenting. That’s the point. ‘You can have a better life and a bigger family,’ Caplan writes, ‘if you admit that your kids’ future is not in your hands.'”
Kevin DeYoung in Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book About A (Really) Big Problem
Are Parents Living In A Kindergarchy?
“We live in a strange new world. Kids are safer than ever before, but parental anxiety is skyrocketing. Children have more options and more opportunities, but parents have more worry and hassle. We have put unheard of amounts of energy, time, and focus into our children. And yet, we assume their failures will almost certainly be our fault for not doing enough. We live in an age where the future happiness and success of our children trumps all other concerns. No labor is too demanding, no expense is too high, and no sacrifice is too great for our children. A little life hangs in the balance, and everything depends on us.
You might call this child obsessed parenting an expression of sacrificial love and devotion. And it might be. But you could also call it Kindergarchy: rule by children…
…the longer I parent the more I want to focus on doing a few things really well, and not get too worked up about everything else. I want to spend time with my kids, teach them the Bible, take them to church, laugh with them, cry with them, discipline them when they disobey, say ‘sorry’ when I mess up, and pray a ton. I want them to look back and think, ‘I’m not sure what my parents were doing or if they even knew what they were doing. But I always knew my parents loved me, and I knew they loved Jesus.
Maybe our hearts are too busy with fear and worry. Maybe we are overanxious. Maybe we are overcommitted. Maybe we are over-parenting. And maybe we are making our lives crazier than they need to be. While we can’t avoid being busy with our children-indeed it’s a biblical command (Titus 2:5)-with a good dose of prayer, a shot of biblical reflection, and a little common sense, we can avoid freaking out about them quite so much.”
Kevin DeYoung in Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book About A (Really) Big Problem
Can Jesus Sympathize With Your Busyness?
“Don’t think Jesus can’t sympathize with your busyness. You have bills that need to be paid? Jesus had lepers who wanted to be healed. You have kids screaming for you? Jesus had demons calling him by name. You have stress in your life? Jesus taught large crowds all over Judea and Galilee with people constantly trying to touch him, trick him, and kill him. He had every reason to be run over by a hundred expectations and a thousand great opportunities.
And yet, he stay on mission. Jesus knew his priorities and stuck with them. Isn’t this astounding? Think about it: Jesus wasn’t just turning down an opportunity to play in the community soccer league. He said no to people who had diseases–diseases he could have healed instantly. The disciples didn’t understand why he wasn’t attending to the urgent needs right in front of him. You can hear the note of reproach in their voices: ‘Everyone is looking for you’ (Mark 1:37). In other words, ‘What are you doing? There’s work to do. You’re a smashing success. People are lined up waiting for you to help them. Come on! The crowd is getting restless. We’re all waiting for you. And Jesus says, ‘Let’s go somewhere else.’ That amazes me.
Jesus understood his mission. He was not driven by the needs of others, though he often stopped to help hurting people. He was not driven by the approval of others, though he cared deeply for the lost and the broken. Ultimately, Jesus was driven by the Spirit. He was driven by his God-given mission. He knew his priorities and did not let many temptations of a busy life deter him from his task…”
Kevin DeYoung in Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book About A (Really) Big Problem
Can Busyness be a Sympton of a Sick Soul?
“The presence of extreme busyness in our lives may point to deeper problems–a pervasive people-pleasing, a restless ambition, a malaise of meaningfulness. ‘Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness,’ writes Tim Kreider in his viral article, ‘The Busy Trap,’ for the New York Times. ‘Obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day.’ The greatest danger with busyness is that there may be greater dangers you never have time to consider.
Busyness does not mean you are a faithful or fruitful Christian. It only means you are busy, just like everyone else. And like everyone else, your joy, your heart, and your soul are in danger. We need the Word of God to set us free. We need biblical wisdom to set us straight. What we need is the Great Physician to heal our overscheduled souls….
…The disorder of daily life is a product of disorder in the innermost places of the heart. Things are not the way they ought to be because we are not the way we are supposed to be…”
Kevin DeYoung in Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book About A (Really) Big Problem
The Real Enemy of Evangelism
“Fear, not ignorance, is the real enemy of evangelism. We fear that our friends will reject or marginalize us if we speak about our faith; we fear that what we don’t know will be exposed; we fear that our beliefs will be challenged. Back then, as well as today, we resisted shallow techniques for communicating truth to complex human beings. If nothing else, sheer frustration compelled many to explore fresh approaches to the subject of evangelism…
…I have a deep-seated conviction that much of our evangelism is ineffective because we depend too much on technique and strategy. Evangelism has slipped into the sales department. I am convinced that we must look at Jesus, and the quality of life he calls us to, as a model for what to believe and how to reach out to others…
…Our problem in evangelism is not that we don’t have enough information–it is that we don’t know how to be ourselves. We forget we are called to be witnesses to what we have seen and know, not to what we don’t know. The key on our part is authenticity and obedience, not a doctorate in theology. We haven’t grasped that it really is OK for us to be who we are when we are with seekers, even if we don’t have all the answers to their questions or if our knowledge of Scripture is limited.”
Rebecca Manley Pippert in Out of the Salt Shaker & into the World
Different Stories, Same Miracle: Conversion
“All stories of conversion are different. Some conversions are dramatic, others quiet. Some people respond out of crisis, others in calm. But the common element in every story is that, one way or another, God reaches us. He comes through. He does not abandon us. But neither does he barge in uninvited.
In more than thirty years that I have been a Christian, I have seen many people turn their lives over to God and be changed. And yet the awesome mystery of conversion never fails to move me. Any Christian who walks with God over a period of time witnesses the marvelous acts of God’s mercy and power. We see him heal people of illness; we watch him restore the emotionally wounded to wholeness; we see him forgive and release from guilt those who have been in bondage to sin for years. Our lives bear witness to the countless prayers we have seen God answer, meeting the needs of the financially distressed, giving wisdom to those who seek it, giving grace and peace to those who suffer.
Yet for all the abundant evidence of God’s power and grace, what could be more miraculous than seeing a person who was once dead in sin become alive to God? I believe the miracle of conversion is greater than the creation of the world. When God created the world, he had no sinful opposition to deal with. But when a person responds positively to God’s call–even after the world, the flesh and the devil have all mounted their opposition–what we are witnessing is simply one of the greatest miracles there is. No wonder there is such joy in heaven over one sinner who repents!
Even more remarkable is that God invites us to be part of that process. We are his ambassadors. We not only have the honor of sharing God’s message but we even have the awesome privilege of inviting a response.”
Rebecca Manley Pippert in Out of the Salt Shaker & into the World (174-75)
What Do You Love, Trust, and Obey?
The Bible uses three basic metaphors to describe how people relate to the idols of their hearts. They love idols, trust idols, and obey idols.
The Bible sometimes speaks of idols using a marital metaphor. God should be our true Spouse, but when we desire and delight in other things more than God we commit spiritual adultery. Romance or success can become ‘false lovers’ that promise to make us feel loved and valued. Idols capture our imagination, and we can locate them by looking at our daydreams. What do we enjoy imagining? What are our fondest dreams? We look to our idols to love us, to provide us with value and a sense of beauty, significance, and worth.
The Bible often speaks of idols using the religious metaphor. God should be our true Savior, but we look to personal achievement or financial prosperity to give us the peace and security we need. Idols give us a sense of being in control, and we can locate them by looking at our nightmares. What do we fear the most? What, if we lost it, would make life not worth living? We make ‘sacrifices’ to appease and please our gods, who we believe will protect us. We look to our idols to provide us with a sense of confidence and safety.
The Bible also speaks of idols using a political metaphor. God should be our only Lord and Master, but whatever we love and trust we also serve. Anything that becomes more important and nonnegotiable to us than God becomes an enslaving idol. In this paradigm, we can locate idols by looking at our most unyielding emotions. What makes us uncontrollably angry, anxious, or despondent? What racks us with a guilt we can’t shake? Idols control us, since we feel we must have them or life is meaningless.
Tim Keller in Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope That Matters
The Surprising Fact About Counterfeit Gods
“We think that idols are bad things, but that is almost never the case. The greater the good, the more likely we are to expect that it can satisfy our deepest needs and hopes. Anything can serve as a counterfeit god, especially the very best things in life.”
Tim Keller in Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope That Matters
Tim Keller Defines A Counterfeit God
“What is an idol? It is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give…”
Tim Keller in Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope That Matters
The Mission of Redemption City Church
Redemption City Church exists to make disciples. Our mission is the same mission the crucified and risen, King Jesus gave his first followers: to make disciples. We know this because God’s authoritative Word tells us this in Matthew 28:18-20. He says, “18 Then Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Jesus’ command to make disciples comes with his authority and his presence. At Redemption City, we exist to make disciples because Jesus commanded us to make disciples.
And we believe that the bible says that a disciple should be marked by 5 core loves. The deepest core love is a love for Jesus as Savior, Lord, and Treasure. Out of this love, disciples also love the church, the world, serving, and multiplication.
The reason we emphasize love here is because the Bible does. Jesus summed up all of our requirements of the law using the word love. He says, He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the greatest and most important command. 39 The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” The Apostle Paul says good works without love amounts to nothing. He says, “If I speak human or angelic languages but do not have love, I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.” So, the Apostle Paul concludes, “Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” A disciple’s life should be marked by love–we believe–five core loves.
1. Disciples love Jesus as Savior, Lord, and Treasure. We love him as Savior because through his gospel he saves us from the penalty and power of sin, delivering us to eternal life. We love him as Lord so we obey his word in all areas of life, because “he is Lord of all or he is not Lord at all.” We love him as Treasure because if he is not our greatest Treasure, he is not our Savior or Lord. This love is a worshipful love. Loving Jesus as Savior, Lord, and Treasure makes us free, purposeful, and satisfied. Everyone loves something supremely, but the only through the transformative work of the gospel—the good news about Jesus’ life, death, resurrection, and ascension that is received by faith—will we love Jesus like this. That’s why we put the gospel at the center of everything we do. At Redemption City, this love for Jesus is expressed at our weekly gathering as we praise Jesus, hear from Jesus’ word, pray to Jesus, and give of our finances to Jesus. This corporate gathering comes from the overflow of each members personal love for Jesus every day individually, seeing all of their lives as an expression of their love for Jesus.
2. Disciples love the church. Sure, the church isn’t perfect, but Jesus loves the church. That’s why he gave his life for her. Since the church is united to Christ by faith, our treatment of the church and Jesus is indistinguishable. When the Apostle Paul persecuted the church, Jesus asked him why he was persecuting him (Acts 9:4). Like Jesus, disciples love the church. At Redemption City, this love for the church is expressed primarily through the Redemption Groups that meet weekly in homes to hang out, get to know, encourage, challenge each other through God’s Word and practically caring for each other as life happens.
3. Disciples love the world. Jesus loved the world to death, and we want to do the same (John 3:16). Jesus didn’t stay out of our world, he stepped into all of the mess of our world, coming to where we were in order to bring us to God. We want to follow him. Sure, Jesus didn’t endorse worldliness, but he did love the world. And he showed his love in practical and eternal ways, healing sickness and giving eternal life. We want to do the same. We want to love the world where we live, work, and play, in such a way, that even if they don’t agree with what we believe, they are happy that we are here in this area. At Redemption City, this love for the world is expressed primarily through personal evangelism and service projects that Redemption Groups do several times a year on a local, national, and international level.
4. Disciples love serving. When you hit the big time in our culture, people serve you. In the kingdom of Christ, greatness is defined by serving. Jesus says, “The greatest among you will be your servant.” You can’t worship a God who got his hands dirty washing the crap off of his followers feet, without getting your hands dirty for others (John 13:1-17). Jesus considered others more important than himself and calls us to do the same. At Redemption City, this love for serving is expressed primarily through serving on a Ministry Team. Whether it is the Set-Up Team, Kid’s Team, Hospitality Team, or the Worship Team, all our teams serve so that others might know Jesus.
5. Disciples love multiplication. Jesus changed the world, not by political action, etc., but by discipling a few people. Jesus personally made disciples and personally asked all of us to make disciples. Jesus didn’t just teach people so they learned it, he taught them so they could teach others. Teach people not just so they learn, but so they’ll be able to teach others. When Jesus told his disciples to teach others everything that he commanded, this included the command to make disciples (Matt. 28:18-20). Although many people haven’t ever done this, we believe it should be a significant aspect of following Jesus. At Redemption City, this love for multiplication is expressed primarily through Multiplication Groups. These groups focus on a wide range of needed topics and are one-on-one or one-on-few. Each Multiplication Group is relational, intentional, and reproducible. Members attend a Multiplication Group with the intention of growing and then leading other people in that same Multiplication Group material.
By the grace of God, with the gospel of Christ and the power of the Spirit, we are giving our lives to building a city where every citizen—every disciple—loves Jesus, the church, the world, serving, and multiplication. Pray for us, join us, as we seek to glorify God through a disciple-making movement powered by the gospel.