It’s a convenient time to be alive. We don’t have to talk on phones connected to the wall, we can talk anywhere at anytime. We don’t have to wait for the 5 o’clock news, we can get it instantly on our phones. We don’t have to wait in line at the local Blockbuster for a movie, we can get one without every getting off the couch—just use the remote to access Netflix from your smartTV. We easily get what we want when we want it.
While this convenience can be great in many ways, it’s not great in every way. There are some things we desire—that we were made for—that are rarely, if ever, convenient. Community is one of these things. Real community is a lot of things, but convenient ain’t one of them. I know lots of people who desire real community, but few who have it. If you want to experience community, real community, I’ve found the following actions put you in a better position to experience it.
Pray for Real Community – If every good gift comes from the Lord—and it does—then ask him for the gift of real community. I’m not just suggesting we pray for real community because it sounds “Christian.” The Bible wants you to know that we need real help here. If Jesus prayed for community, we should too (Jn 17). Often times, we have not because we ask not (Jms 2). If Jesus thought real community required real prayer, don’t you think we should too? The Enemy doesn’t want the church to be marked by real community. He wants to divide and disable. There is real resistance to real community. So start your search for real community with real prayer.
Define Real Community – It’s really difficult to find something when you don’t know what you’re looking for. Real, Christian community is a messy, gospel-centered community where you connect, care, and challenge one another. Connecting involves conversation about life. It involves getting together consistently—whether that is once a week, twice a month, or whatever. Caring for each other involves helping each other out when needs arise, asking about that job promotion, and more. Challenging one another involves you pushing them towards greater Christ-likeness, whether they are a non-Christian being pushed towards the truth or a Christian needing to walk in greater step with the truth. If you find these characteristics in a community, does this mean everyone will relate perfectly and in a way that brings you deep satisfaction? No. Does this mean everyone will be invited to everything every time? No. That’s not possible, as much as we wish it could happen. Let’s not spend our lives chasing a “unicorn” version of community and miss the real thing that’s available right in front of us.
Create Community Building Opportunities – Real community doesn’t just appear. The creation of real community depends on creators of real community. Sure, we all wish things would “click.” But the older you get, the less likely this is to happen. You have “stuff” to do. They have “stuff” to do. Everybody’s busy. This reality alone means you need to be proactive. You have to be a community creator, not just a community consumer, if you want to experience real community. Invite someone to lunch, breakfast, coffee, or whatever else. When they can’t, invite someone else. I’ve often invited several people to get together before I got a yes. Don’t let a few “no’s” turn into a dead end. There are a ton of people out there, try again. When I see people inviting other people to lunch at church, I know they’ll be fine. If I don’t, I worry for them. I do worry for the ones that never do. I do worry for the ones who never come to the opportunities created for them. Don’t just wait for perfect community opportunities to consume, take the initiative and create community building opportunities.
In the next post I’ll include the last four steps to experiencing real community.
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